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I am a SURVIVOR ...
- Dr. Annie R. McClain
- Feb 21, 2023
- 7 min read
Updated: May 6
Tips on How to Help Prevent Rape And Date Rape
In today's world, simply being aware of local and global news can be quite unsettling. Reports of numerous terrifying acts of violence dominate local and national broadcasts. Nevertheless, the current emphasis is on date rape.
The Oxford Dictionary describes rape as the act of forced sexual intercourse with a person, particularly a female. Another organization defines rape as a non-consensual, forcible sexual encounter, which can be oral, vaginal, or rectal, involving a male or female.
In other words, rape is a crime punishable by law and is an unwelcome threat that females encounter daily. While this atrocious act of violence also affects males, females are more frequently victims of rape than males.
Side Bar: From Wikipedia
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A characteristic of date rape is that, typically, the victim is female, she is acquainted with the perpetrator, and the assault occurs within the context of an existing or potential romantic or sexual relationship between the individuals, or after such a relationship has ended. In addition, the perpetrator might employ physical or psychological coercion to compel the victim to engage in sex against their will, or when the perpetrator engages in sex with a victim who is unable to give consent, for instance, due to being incapacitated by alcohol or other drugs.
According to the United States Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), date rapes are among the most common rape cases; they usually most commonly occur among college students when alcohol is involved or date rape drugs are taken. One o the most targeted groups is women between the ages of 16 to 24".
Only a small portion of rapes are reported, and reports are typically made by females. (http://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence). Victims should ensure they file charges against the perpetrator before the statute of limitations expires. A statute of limitations is the maximum period allowed for initiating legal proceedings, whether for criminal charges or a civil lawsuit
Did you know that the majority of rapes involve acquaintances? Research indicates, "In eight out of ten rape cases, the victim is familiar with the rapist?" (https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence). Television often portrays the rapist as someone hiding in the house, waiting for the victim to arrive, or as a person who climbs through a window at night to commit the crime. They might follow the victim and seize the chance to drag them into an alley, or stalk them to learn their schedule before attacking. However, this is not typically how it occurs in reality. The actual events differ greatly from television depictions. Moreover, the aftermath of rape can take varying amounts of time for victims to overcome. Some may never fully recover and do not become rape survivors.
It is essential to recognize that safety is a personal responsibility. Despite the convenience of modern technology, staying vigilant and aware of one's surroundings can make a significant difference in maintaining safety. Instead of allowing distractions to compromise one's alertness, it is vital to adopt proactive habits. For instance, common sense practices would be,
Before leaving a store, ensure that your keys are readily accessible.
Any phone calls or messages are completed.
When walking to your car, be conscious of your environment; keep your head up and stay observant.
Additionally, sitting in your car with the door open can present an unnecessary risk.
It is always safer to close and lock your door immediately upon entry and then proceed with any necessary tasks.
Simple thing/actions can act as deterrents against opportunistic threats and enhance personal security. As stated earlier, practicing common sense behavior into ones daily routines is not just about preventing assault but about empowering oneself to take charge of their safety.
By staying focused and adopting these practical measures, one can significantly reduce the risk of becoming a victim and confidently navigate their surroundings.
Apart from all the previously discussed points, I believe the most unintentional, inadvertent and dangerous mistake a woman can make, which puts her at significant risk of rape, is inviting someone to her room on the first date. Even if he pressures you, DON'T DO IT! You don't know this person; they could be a serial killer or serial rapist.
Don't endanger your life for a brief moment of enjoyment. It's not worth the danger. All of the above is a definite NO! That's why it's crucial to have transportation arranged or a responsible person you can contact if this situation arises. (https://www.wikihow.com/Prevent- date_rape).
Everyone should be mindful of self-care and self-protection when they are out and about. Think about the what if's. What if someone approaches me while I am talking on my phone while walking to my car? What should I do to protect myself? What if I see the same individual multiple times while shopping in the mall or grocery store and looking in my direction? What should I do? What if my date leaves me because I won't comply? How will I get home? What if I drink? Will he take advantage of me? What will I say if he touches me and it makes me uncomfortable? (https://www.wikihow.com/Prevent- date_rape).
Sadly, we often believe that any act of violence won't happen to us, which is when we become vulnerable to potential threats. This lack of awareness makes it easier for unfortunate events to occur. Being kidnapped and trafficked for sex or labor, held for ransom, or assaulted are just a few examples of the dangers we expose ourselves to when we neglect our safety.
An unfounded myth about women and rape that bothers me is the notion that the victim must have been flirting, possibly leading the person on, was intoxicated, or shouldn't have been in a situation that put them at risk. I strongly disagree with this idea. Rape is 'rape, and the only person responsible for it is the rapist. It is never the female's fault that someone chose to take from her what he cannot give back.(https://www.wikihow.com/Prevent- date_rape).
As stated earlier, being negligent about your safety and unaware of your surroundings plays a significant role in a person finding themselves in the hands of a rapist. (https://www.wikihow.com/Prevent- date_rape).
When our children began dating, my husband would often remind them, particularly our sons, that nothing good happens after midnight. As they grew older, he extended their curfew to 1:30 AM. Although this change wasn't entirely welcomed, they appreciated the extra time they could stay out. They understood our expectations regarding family values and integrity. I consistently emphasized the importance of being aware of their environment. If they ever found themselves in an uncomfortable situation, I advised them to LEAVE.
It is understandable that one cannot live in constant fear. Nonetheless, both women and men should remain vigilant and ready to defend themselves, taking necessary precautions to avoid becoming part of the rape statistics.
According to the RAINN organization (https://www.rainn.org/ststistics/vivtims-sexual-violence), this seems to be the best way to help stop this horrific sexual invasion of the body,
A plethora of organizations, counselors, psychologists, experts, specialists in the field, and laypersons suggests several precautionary ideas to assist with helping to keep you from being raped. I have my thoughts on safety precautions as well. I will identify them as such (AMC) in the list below. (YouTube; Tips to Prevent Date Rape).
1. Always" tell someone where you are going, even if you know your date.
2. Tell someone where you are going and with whom if it's your first date (https://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-Date_rape).
3. Make occasional “safety check-ins " with family or friends."
4. Make sure someone can identify your clothing or any accessories you were wearing; telephone, jewelry, hairstyles, backpack, purse. AMC
5. Do not isolate yourself when out and about. AMC
6. Stay with the crowd.
7. Stay sober.
8. Always have "a designated driver other than your date if you plan on drinking while on a date. AMC
9. Don't leave your drink at the bar or table.
10. Always cover the top of your drink when moving about the room or club.
11. Know something about your date's character before going on a date. AMC
12. Be aware of your date's body and verbal language and when you are with him before and while on a date. AMC
13. Look for signs that he respects you and will keep you safe.
14. Always make sure you have a way home if you feel uncomfortable with your date. (https://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-Date-Rape)
15. If you decide to have a sexual "encounter," make sure "both of you give enthusiastic affirmative consent.
Collet Gee, a co-author of an article in wikiHow to Prevent Date Rape, states that you could meet your date at a well-known restaurant. Don't allow yourself to be in an unfamiliar place." This will prevent you from not knowing a definite address if you need to summons for help. It is a self-care-self-protection skill.
Be in the crowd. Stay in the mix. Move in and out of the public to ensure that someone sees you and your date. This is a great skill to have if there is a need to identify you are your date. If you are with a group, and this is your first time on -a face-to-face date, make sure they know as much about your date as possible; his name, articles of clothing, specific scars or unique accessories, what kind of vehicle he was driving, and your plans after leaving.
As stated, personal safety is not about living in fear but about being prepared and vigilant. Implementing simple habits like sharing your location with a trusted friend, avoiding poorly lit areas, and keeping your phone easily accessible can significantly enhance your security. Learn self-defense techniques, if possible, and carry items like pepper spray or a whistle for emergencies. Hence, we (females) MUST learn how to use whatever is necessary to protect ourselves from the hands of a predator living in our towns, next door, in the school, churches, and homeless shelters, you name the place one or two are possibly residing there, or they visit the area looking for prey.
God forbid you to become a victim. If this happens to you, your mindset will be Escape, Survive, Escape, Survive. Report immediately, and share everything you remember about the predator.
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